Happy New Year!

"They say life happens in cycles. I've decided mine is on 10yr cycles. Goodbye crappy decade, make room for the decade of a lifetime! I can feeeeeel it!"

That was my Facebook post last night. anyone who knows me (well enough) knows that the past 10 years have been a roller coaster of a ride for me and my family. Generally I love roller coasters, but I'm a bit nauseous at this point and ready to exit this ride.

It's a time now when many people are making New Year's Resolutions, which I've never been very good at. Like most people, I aim high and by my birthday, I've fallen off the bandwagon and said "what the hell". Psychologists I think call it the perfectionist syndrome or something like that - we think if we can't do it perfectly, there's no point in doing it at all. At the same time, I am determined to make this year a turning point in my life. Sick of the negativity, bad vibes and toxic people, I know I need to make some serious changes if I expect serious changes. I think Dr Phil said something to the effect of "If you keep doing what you've always been doing, why would you expect anything to be different."

So this year, instead of making a bunch of high-aimed, unachievable goals, I decided to make myself a "Bucket List" of sorts. I've whittled my list down to the most important 10 things I would like to do in 2011 that I truly believe are key things to making my life what I want it to be. At the same time, they are not so overwhelming and tedious that they are unattainable; they are achievable.

This is my "Because I Owe It To Myself" List

1. Surround myself only with people who emit a positive frequency and make me feel good about myself. Negative and toxic people are no longer welcome in my life.

2. Spend more time taking better care of myself; physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Make it a point to do one thing each day that in some way fulfills this purpose, be it exercise, meditation or time with my family.

3. Make a conscious investment in relationships by making time to specifically enjoy the company of my husband, children and friends

4. Step outside my comfort zone and try and do things that perhaps I never would have before: learn to shoot a gun? Indoor skydiving? Maybe I'll finally learn to snowboard?

5. I may be hitting my "late thirties", but it's never too late to invest in your future. I think its time to start looking into going back to school and finally finishing my bachelors degree.

6. Pay it forward: Its been a while since I put much time or effort into volunteer work. May be I'll rejoin JLD, sign up for some volunteer shifts at the Dumb Friends League or look into Habitat for Humanity. Something to fulfill a greater purpose.

7. Learn to be more conscious of my thoughts and feelings and practice ridding the bad and filling with good

8. Embrace and reminisce in my past, because even though some of it totally sucked, there were some highlights and all in all, it made me what I am today. I think it's time to start working on my scrapbooks!

9. Focus on the future and where I want to go and be. Along with scrapbooks of the past, I'd like to build a "Vision Book" for the future

10. Hold myself accountable for my goals and visions. No one reaps the rewards or consequences of these goals but me, and I deserve to reward myself! Perhaps my blog is a good outlet!

I know I need to make some serious changes, and some of these changes are going to be hard and painful. But I also know that I must do what is ultimately the healthiest for me and my family. Life is a balancing act, and for far too long, the scales have been tipped. I have had to spend far too much time defending my choices, confronting judgement and negativity, and battling toxicity in my home and in my life. Today, January 1, 2011, I am turning a new leaf and stepping into a new life and new attitude with optimism, dedication and promise. No more will other people's choices, words or actions poison my life. My life is what I make it, and starting today, I am making it great!